Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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