we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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