So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
