Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Randomize
