don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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