there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
