Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Randomize
