Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
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