You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Randomize
