Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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