If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
