I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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