Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
