Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
