Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm just crazy horny about you
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
