We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
