Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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