How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
