Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
