if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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