Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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