another moral hangover. fuck.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
