do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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