Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
