Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
