she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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