i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i think i have herpe
just one?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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