it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
