you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
