i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
