it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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