we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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