If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
