My cat gives me a boner
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
