O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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