I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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