worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Randomize
