I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
