I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
