Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
