first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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