I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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