you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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