can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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