can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
