So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
