Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
