he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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