Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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