Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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